And not of the Jack Handey variety, although I would like to share my personal favorite with you all as an opener: “If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let ’em go because man, they’re gone.”
[Cue soothing outro music]
One of my friend’s (I have three friends!) boyfriend posted a very sweet sentiment to her wall yesterday, basically saying how he wishes he could turn back time (not Cher, but you’re welcome for that ear worm) and met her sooner so he could love her longer. See? So sweet. I actually said “aww…” out loud when I read it. Just adorable and romantic and we all know I’m a sucker for that shit.
But then I got to thinking, as I’m often wont to do, and this is where the deep thoughts come into play. I realize a lot of people feel this way about their significant others; I felt it myself. You meet someone so wonderfully fantastic that you wish upon wishes that you had met them much sooner in your life as to avoid the bullshit brought on by past relationships. I felt the same way when I met my former spouse. Granted, dude was My First Very Serious Boyfriend, but I wish we had met years earlier than we did. Which now, I feel is a little silly because we were both 19 at the time and if we had met a few years before, he’d have caught me in my super awkward teenaged phase and this is why I didn’t have My First Very Serious Boyfriend until I was 19. I digress.
Anyway, wishing you met someone earlier blah blah blah…and cut to my thought. My thought is this: people need to realize that while they may think that about their significant other, and please excuse the hokey cliché here, but people come into your life at the exact right time, even the people to whom caused us nothing but grief or didn’t stick around long. Again, hokey, but true.
I take my own situation into account here. I met a man on a dating site that rhymes with HokayStupid and while we hit it off and whatnot, I felt he wasn’t interested in me, so kept my options open, I guess. A few months later, I ended up meeting and moving away to Texas for another person, which we all know I deeply, deeply regret because what the fuck. What the fucking fuck.
So, like, a month after I moved for this chump, we broke up. No big loss there. Pro tip: make sure a guy you move halfway across country for isn’t a verbally abusive manic depressive alcoholic douchesucker BEFORE you move halfway across country. You’ll save yourself a boatload of grief. But…I met him at the right time, which is bizarre for me to say because I have no love for this fuck at all, but I really did meet him at the right time. Allow me to elaborate.
As I said, I was on a dating site and met and briefly dated three men prior to the one I mentioned earlier. At that time, I wasn’t feeling it. I stopped dating these men for various reasons, but mainly, there was no connection. I didn’t feel anything. I got told by two of these men I was a cold bitch. Whatever. Anyway, enter 4th guy and it was great, but again, I didn’t sense interest on his end, no biggie, so when I met this last guy and he wooed and wowed me, told me wonderful things about myself, I instantly fell for that charm and flattery. It had been since my former spouse that any man told me I was beautiful and gross shit like that. Of course I loved it! It boosted my poor self-esteem! Hey now! We all need a boost now and then. So that’s why I deem him worthy of coming into my life at the right time. I was feeling pretty low. Plus, I got to move away for a bit, something I had begged my former spouse for years to do. I experienced things. I met some truly great people in Austin. I lived a little. All in all, it was a good thing.
Then, one night after going out with my girlfriends, they were all on HokayStupid making fun of matches they’d received. Not being one to be left out, I dusted off my profile and started browsing. Much to my surprise, I was getting Nebraska matches even though I was in Texas and my information reflected such. The kicker? The 4th Guy from a few paragraphs ago was a match. Huh. I sent him a message. We began corresponding again. I told him he owed me a date. He agreed. I ended up moving back to Nebraska. We had that date. That was over a year ago. We are still in it. It is complicated, but what isn’t?
My point in all this is again, people come to you at the right time. Fourth Guy made a brief appearance and then came back. What if I hadn’t moved to Texas? I’d have gone along thinking he had no interest still and would have gone on. Even though our relationship is confusing, he’s in my life and I’d rather he be in it than not. The first time we met wasn’t the right time. This time is.
So, there’s my wisdom for you today. Look at the people in your life and thank them for being there. It’s their right time.
As always, thanks for reading.