June 27, 2014

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

What an exuberant greeting! Hello. Yes, it is Sunday. A day of rest. A day of brunch and coffee in bed while reading the funnies in the newspaper. Sunday means one of the local Indian restaurants offers an all-you-can-eat buffet of curry and masala and naan and gosht. I like Sunday.

Sunday also means that sometimes, I take to my trusty mechanical steed and drive off into whatever direction I feel like going. I don’t know what it is about driving, but I love it. One positive of moving to Texas was the drive down there, and later, the drive back up. While getting out of the state of Texas takes roughly a year, and Oklahoma is the asshole of America, the drive is lovely. Long, clocking in at 14 hours from Austin to Lincoln, Nebraska, but fun nevertheless. I enjoy sitting in my car, the seat perfectly adjusted to me. I enjoy driving with the windows down, the wind whipping my hair around my head, which is actually sorta dangerous if you think about it, but so far, so good. I enjoy loading the CD player in my car with discs and singing along–badly–to the music. Sometimes, I car dance. I’m very good at car dancing. All in all, it’s just a terrific feeling.

I hadn’t really intended to go driving today. It has been since March since I took to the road and I had gone to Wal-Mart to pick up my !!!!FREE BIRTH CONTROL!!!! and just decided, ah, what the heck. And off I went to the east, which is my usual direction. People not from Nebraska assume it’s flat. Nebraska is not all flat. The eastern side of the state is actually rather hilly, especially getting to the river. It’s also more lush with trees and generally a very scenic drive.

Anyway, no intention of driving. It just happened. I’m glad it did. I haven’t driven since March when I started my new job. I think I was so tired that I couldn’t bring myself to get in the ol’ Jetta and well, jet. I was a bit nervous since having my surgery in mid-June. The few times my mom would have to drive me from her place to Lincoln for appointments, which is a three-hour drive, I would need her to stop several times along the way to get up and stretch. Here’s some free advice: don’t get your abdominal muscles cut. It isn’t a fun time. I did well with the drive today, though. I did get out a stretch a few times, and I did walk like an 80-year-old man with severe arthritis in all his joints, but dang it, I drove. All is well a-gain. 

Speaking of surgery (I’ll wait while everyone clears the room because OH EM GEE, SHE’S TALKING ABOUT HER HYSTERECTOMY AGAIN. ISN’T THAT NEW AND DIFFERENT?), I finally went back to work this week. I have been having…issues with hormones/mood swings that were pretty wild and unpredictable. For example, one morning, I made myself scrambled eggs for breakfast. I sat down at the kitchen table and promptly began crying. Did I overcook the eggs? Did I not season them properly? Were there bits of shell in them? No, none of that. I just wanted to cry over my eggs, I guess. My poor mother should be nominated for sainthood after having dealt with me the last 5 weeks. But things seem to be getting better, mood-wise. I’m on medications, which I really am not terribly fond of, but if it means not crying over scrambled eggs, then I guess it’s okay. Plus, one of the medications is supposed to help me quit smoking.

Please note I said “supposed to help.” Sigh. I have quit and started two times on this shit so far. I went almost 4 days without smoking the first time, then I felt stressed out, so I smoked. Then I got mad at myself because I really didn’t need the g.d. things, I just thought I did. See, from what I’ve read, all nicotine is out of your body on day 3, so maybe subconsciously I was all “oh shoot, I need to poison my brain and lungs with nicotine and harsh chemicals!” Then, I quit for another four days, and same g.d. thing, although this stress was legitimate. Good excuse, huh? So, I’m working on time #3 to quit and sonuvabitch, I will stay quit this time. I will. I’m thinking of asking the doctor if I can get back on an anti-anxiety medication again because that’s when I feel like I lose all willpower and break down and smoke. We’ll see how that goes. I see her again Friday for what I hope is the last time for a long time.

And I hope I quit smoking. A friend reminded me of a Mark Twain quote, which is so perfectly fitting: “Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.” Hahahaha…oh.

Well, that’s all from me for now. I was hoping to write a short story tonight since another friend (I have TWO FRIENDS!) totally blew smoke up my rear end and was all, “you’re going to be on the New York Times Best-Seller List!” Yeah. Okay. But I’ll be buggered if she didn’t get that fiction fire burning again, but I just haven’t thought of anything good to write about. Le sigh. Oh well. It’ll come to me eventually.

Here’s to driving again, quitting smoking again, and writing again.

As always, thanks for reading.



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