I Only Want You

I need to make a confession.

I am a terrible person.

Not a total shock to some, but to those who do not know me so well, I’m sorry to shatter your illusion of me. I, with no sense of pride, admit that when listening to music, I get so wrapped up in the music itself that I don’t always necessarily pay attention to the lyrics. I’ll recite the lyrics, but it’s like a person learning English as their second language phonetically–I can say the words, just don’t really know what I’m saying.

Case in point, the song I’m writing about today, “I Only Want You” by Eagles of Death Metal.

I woke up feeling a little discouraged because I didn’t know what song to write about today, which is sucky because this is only day two of The iPod Challenge I’ve taken upon myself, and already I was all, “oh boo. I don’t know what I wanna write about. Boo.” Luckily and ironically, I send someone a song every morning because I’m kind of adorable like that and the first one I sent was a quintessentially morose Alice In Chains song (Love, Hate, Love) and in an “effort” to counteract that, I thought I’d search for an upbeat song. Sorry to make you want to slit your wrists with Alice In Chains, so here’s a happy song!

I was browsing my iPod and decided on Eagles of Death Metal because who doesn’t love a bit of rockabilly to raise your mood?

“I Only Want You” is on the 2004 album “Peace, Love, Death Metal” and it’s just terrific. EODM is co-fronted by Jesse Hughes and Queens of the Stone Age frontman, Josh Homme, so of course, I’m going to want to listen to what these cats have to sing about because I will fully support anything Josh Homme does as QOTSA is in my top 5 artists of all time (1. Nine Inch Nails, 2. Radiohead, 3. Queens of the Stone Age, 4. Sigur Ros, 5. Interpol).

The entire album isn’t exactly brilliant, but goddamn it, is it fun. Listening to it makes me want to drive through the desert in a ’67 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme, top down, the hot sun beating down on my cheeks, the arid air blowing through my hair, and the radio cranked. Vivid imagery be thy name.

Here I am, thinking this song will be like a shot of Disney movie to help with the doldrums I evoked with Alice In Chains.

Wrong.

Erin, you have never been more wrong. I mean, I’ve been wrong before and totally cop to it, but this is a big bowl of wrong. Observe:

When I feel like you get too close I put you right down
I never really leave, I just slip away
And it’s not my purpose to break your spirit
I’m not really interested in what’s in your heart
I don’t want you to fall in love now, so please don’t start

I only want you
I only want you
I only want you
I only want you

I know that it’s terribly cruel but then I like it
Because you tried to love me I just can’t stay
And I’m not gonna lie just to spare you feelings
‘Cause watching you suffer feels much better to me
I’m about to lay destruction on you
I’m not the lover man that you want me to be
I said, “Well

I only want you”
I only want you
I only want you
I only want you

Now you see once you get too close I put you right down
I never really leave, I just slip away
But it’s not my purpose to break your spirit
I’m not really interested in what’s in your heart
But now I have to lay destruction on you
I’m not the lover man that you want me to be
I said, “Well

I only want you”
I only want you
I only want you
I only want you
I only want you

I only want you
I only want you
I only want you
I only want you

I only want you
I only want you
I only want you
I only want you

I only want you
I only want you
I only want you
I only want you
I only want you

Apparently, he only wants you.

But see what I mean? To someone new to Eagles (we fuckin’ hate the Eagles, man),  you’d assume from the title that oh hey! It’s a love song, kinda, or at least definitely not something that won’t rip your goddamn guts out through your belly button if you took a goddamn minute to pay attention to the goddamn lyrics. Goddamn.

I’m not really interested in what’s in your heart. 

Oh? Well, you can have it anyway, since you freaking ripped it out and are showing it to me, still beating, in your hand like that scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where that crazy guy rips out the dude’s heart. 

Well, here's your problem right here. I have your heart. This should be in your chest, not in my hand.
Well, here’s your problem right here. I have your heart. This should be in your chest, not in my hand.

I feel foolish. I’ve had this album for almost ten years and this is the first time I’ve taken a moment to pay attention to words. I’m the absolute worst! I don’t deserve to call myself a music lover. I hereby turn in my music lover card and punish myself for my insolence by forever having to listen to dubstep and Justin Bieber, or even worse, Justin Bieber remixed to dubstep. What fresh hell is this?

This incident makes me want to listen to all the music on my iPod that I claim to know the lyrics to and understand but really don’t.

Thankfully, I’m not a total female bastard and do know and understand lyrics to many songs. None of those songs include Pearl Jam or Radiohead songs, though. Sorry Eddie and Thom, I adore you both, and you gentlemen are some of the finest artists throughout time, but y’all need to enunciate more.

There you have it. Here’s the video to watch and I give everyone permission to ridicule and mock me because it’s wholly deserved.

Humbly yours,

E

P.S. I don’t feel too terrible about this anymore, as the song has been used in a lot of commercials because of the deceiving line “I only want you”! See, I’m not the only dumbfuck out there. Ad agencies also do not listen to lyrics.

 

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2 thoughts on “I Only Want You

  1. Two things: 1) You’re already doing a better job with these things than I ever have.
    2) You should consider writing for Cracked.com because snark flows from your keyboard like blood from a fresh puncture wound and Hells Yeah, that’s the way it is at Cracked.com.

    1. 1. Thank you!
      2. Funny you mentioned that, as I actually tried being a community member writer and submitted an idea to them, but nothing ever came of it. Plus, I found the whole process really confusing and frustrating. But thanks for thinking I have the snark power to write for them.

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