‘Twas the night before Easter, and I was drinking port and sitting on my keister.
The bunnies are all hiding in fear, that Zombie Jesus would soon be here.
After being beaten senseless and killed on a cross, three days later He rose to show all who was boss.
The Marys, they came to put flowers on the grave, but what should their eyes see, well, it certainly wasn’t the Big J.C.
“Twas an angel, all glowy and white, and boy howdy, did he give them all a fright.
“You silly bitches, Jesus ain’t here. The fact his body is gone is quite clear. He’s risen from the dead to elicit fear.
The Marys rushed away from the tomb, crying and screaming, for their fragile little minds were left reeling.
A zombie, a zombie, a zombie! They cried, this shit is fucking wack because we saw his ass die!
‘Tis true, he’s risen and Jesus is pissed, for the episode of the new Dr. Who season he has missed.
So tomorrow when the Easter bunny has come, all you motherfuckers should get up and run,
Zombe Jesus is on the loose, and he ain’t playin’, he’s here for your brains, and he’s gonna do some slayin’.
So the next time you people decide to kill, be sure the fucker’s really dead, or he’s going to rise again and blood he will spill.
The end. Happy Zombie Jesus Day!