Who gives a crap?!

The Twilight series can kiss my heiny.

John Gosselin can suck my bottom.

Obama Care, Shmobama Care.

Bill Clinton DID have sexual relations with that woman, you lying sack of grits!!

P. Diddy, Puff Daddy, Sean Combs, Comb Daddy, Daddy Diddy, Combs Puff, DiddyPuff….whatever you go by, enough is enough.  Stop.  For real, I’m not even playing around here.

We get it, Dane Cook.  You think you’re hilarious.

I can’t get behind Snuggies for Pets.

Pepsi vs Coke?  Who cares.  why don’t be match up the great rivals:  Abraham Lincoln vs a great white shark?

These are things that weigh heavily on my fragile mind.

Oh, Canada….

I love Canada.  I want to live there, make love to it.  That is how strongly I feel aboot Canada.


What’s not to love about our northern neighbors?

They are polite and courteous.  Plus, they have something called “Canada’s Wonderland.”  The name itself implied all the good things in life, like puppies and warm chocolate chip cookies and grandmas.  Canada’s Wonderland is an amusement park in Toronto.  Chalk up a point for Toronto.

More things to love about canada:

1.  Kids In The Hall.  Uh, hello.  Best sketch comedy show that is or ever shall be.  I recently watched some episodes of The State and I just got all monkey mad nuts at it because I was convinced they stole all of their material from KITH.

2.  Fun province names like Saskatchewan.  Or if you’re a Mr. Show fan, Saskatchatario.

3.  Hippies love Canada for dodging drafts and the IRS.

4.  Unnecessary “u” in words–savour, flavour, colour…..Canadians love excessive vowls in their words, dammit!

I’m sure there are many more wonderous things about Canada I’m failing to mention, but you must forgive me as I have maple leaves in mine eyes…..

Gentle Readers

Hello and greetings from E.E. Zulkoski. I wanted to write and let you all know that I am still alive and well, thanks. It’s been quite a while since I’ve written, but rest assured to my waiting masses–a.k.a. “Mom”–I shall be back in full force soon. Just been whipping up some tasty morsels to feast your eyes uponst.
Until we meet a-gain,
warmest wishes,