McDonald’s is going down, friends. Down, I say!!
Again, it’s totally my fault for going back to the fast food establishment, but dang it, I had to.
I ordered my usual Night After Special: Sausage McMuffin and o.j. but I was feeling cantankerous and wanted an iced tea, too.
All was well, I got my food on my way to work and I went to take a big sip of tea, when BLECH!!!! SON’S OF WHORES GAVE ME THE NEW SWEET TEA!!!!! As you may tell, I hate sweetened iced tea. I loathe it, really, so to take a huge gulp of nasty sweet liquid just threw me for a loop. I stopped, pulled back into the parking lot, and went inside. Now, this is pretty big for me because usually I would just be all “oh darn it!” and then drive away with wrong food, but not that day, friends.
I went inside and up to the counter with the counterfeit tea.
ME: “Uh, hi, I was just in the drive thru and I ordered regular tea, but this is sweet tea.”
McNazi: “So……you don’t like that, then?”
I wanted to say, “No, i just wanted to drop back in and tell you all what a bang up job you’re doing here at McDonald’s. Keep up the good work!”
I looked at the little keebler behind the counter and said, “Actually, I hate sweet tea.”
She reluctantly handed me a new cup and I got my damn regular tea.
I need some sort of shock collar to zap me when I get so many feet of McDonalds. Let’s work on this, people. Please send submissions to:
EZ’s No More Mickey D’s Fund