wackity smackity doo

McDonald’s is going down, friends.  Down, I say!! 

Again, it’s totally my fault for going back to the fast food establishment, but dang it, I had to. 

I ordered my usual Night After Special:  Sausage McMuffin and o.j.  but I was feeling cantankerous and wanted an iced tea, too. 

All was well, I got my food on my way to work and I went to take a big sip of tea, when BLECH!!!!  SON’S OF WHORES GAVE ME THE NEW SWEET TEA!!!!!  As you may tell, I hate sweetened iced tea.  I loathe it, really, so to take a huge gulp of nasty sweet liquid just threw me for a loop.  I stopped, pulled back into the parking lot, and went inside.  Now, this is pretty big for me because usually I would just be all “oh darn it!” and then drive away with wrong food, but not that day, friends.

I went inside and up to the counter with the counterfeit tea. 

ME:  “Uh, hi, I was just in the drive thru and I ordered regular tea, but this is sweet tea.”

McNazi:  “So……you don’t like that, then?”


I wanted to say, “No, i just wanted to drop back in and tell you all what a bang up job you’re doing here at McDonald’s.  Keep up the good work!” 

I looked at the little keebler behind the counter and said, “Actually, I hate sweet tea.” 

She reluctantly handed me a new cup and I got my damn regular tea.

I need some sort of shock collar to zap me when I get so many feet of McDonalds.  Let’s work on this, people.  Please send submissions to:

EZ’s No More Mickey D’s Fund

c/o EZ

Lincoln, NE

Thank you.