Loser.

No triple x nudes here, friend.  I’m sorry, that was a little sneaky, luring you in with promises of naked women and/or men.

So.  You’re here.  Boy, did you draw the short straw on this one, friend.  How on earth did you find me, reading silly little stories from a kid you probably don’t know?  What demon did you sell your soul to?  Was it worth it?  Does your grandma have a new kidney now?  Is that why you did this?  Well, whatever your reason, I’m happy you’re here.

Who is Erin Zulkoski?  Good question.  Great question.  You know how they say that “there are no stupid questions”?  Well, this question isn’t stupid, so good job.  Let’s get the boring don’t-really-care-or-want-to-know information out of the way first.  I’m 28.  I live in southeast Nebraska; Lincoln, more specifically.  I am a recent college graduate–thank you, thank you–but my education is far from over, friends.   I’m married–sorry fellas!–to Jason and he’s pretty much the coolest guy.  I mean, obviously, if he’s hanging around with this caliber of Betty.   My parent’s divorced when I was 22, which by the way, I find is way more upsetting when it happens to grown up children than when it happens to little kids.  Stop whining, you little brats!  So Mommy and Daddy don’t love you.  Big deal.  I’ve been around these people for 22 years of my life–they are all I know!  I was falsely led to believe that if they hadn’t divorced by now, they weren’t ever going to.  WRONG!  Can you imagine 25 years of marriage, then deciding one day “eh, I never liked the way she folded my underpants anyway.”

I have an older brother.  His name is Nate.  He’s a good guy, but he used to hate me when we were little.  Nate is seven years older than I am, so he wasn’t too keen on me when he was a teenager, and rightly so.  I wasn’t keen on me.  But since we’re both older now, and I like to think a little bit wiser, we get along famously and for this, I am grateful.

I have a crush on a cartoon character:  Brock Sampson from The Venture Bros.  Aside from the mullet, dude’s got it going on.  AND he kills people!  That’s what I call a double threat.

As mentioned above, I am a college graduate.  Go on, ask me how long I went to college. Seven years.  No, I’m not a doctor, nor do I aspire to be one.  I just didn’t like the whole college scene, so I stopped going.  Good reason, huh?  But after 2 years and a small fortune later, I am officially a medical assistant and I work at a cardiology clinic.  Basically, you can say I help in the mending of broken hearts.  How poetic.

I started this here blog back in May 2007, so it’s still a baby compared to others.  I know what you’re thinking, though:  Great.  Another blog.  What makes you think that I want to read what you have to say?  Well, I don’t expect you read this, but you are here, so….jokes on you, friend.  I didn’t start this to feed my ego or start a revolution.  I just wanted to start something that I knew I would love to do.  Plain and simple as that.  I love to write, and this is writing, in it’s most annoying form, yes, but still writing nonetheless.  And you have to admit, some of the stuff I come up with is pretty entertaining.  Go on…it’s ok.  The first step to recovery is admitting you have the problem.

That about sums it up.  I hope you enjoy what you read here.  If not, well, why don’t you go watch some more Dane Cook stand-up.

If you want to be my special friend, you may do so by either emailing at ez_cheezee@yahoo.com, being my new friend on Facebook or on this here site.  I look forward to entertaining you all.

Your friend,

Erin